Attitude. It determines so much of how we approach life and other people. What is your attitude? I'm sure it changes based on your circumstances and environment. Some people bring out a particular attitude in you of generosity or even frustration.
When I think about attitude, I try to take an approach of being others-centered, operative word being TRY. It's not always easy, particularly if you're with a person who really challenges you. Most of the times it's pretty easy to have a good attitude. You may have a rough day from time to time, but overall things flow routinely.
I'm thinking about those times when things don't go as expected and people's reactions and responses don't happen as you anticipated. Why did that person get angry or offended? Why did I get angry or offended? How do I maintain an attitude of gratitude when things are challenging?
When those things happen. I find it best to follow a short process to evaluate your attitude and determine if you need to adjust it. Generally I find I do.
Step 1. Understand your emotions. This often times means stepping away from a situation. If you have someone you trust around, talk to him or her about what happened. Journal or find another way to get what you're thinking and feeling out.
Step 2. Be grateful. Be thankful for a situation that's challenging because it will only help you to know yourself and other personalities better in the end. Most conflicts come through dealing with other people and the relationships in your life, so the better you understand others, the better you can cope with and manage the mixture of personalities around you.
Step 3. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. I know you don't want to see things from their perspective, but force yourself to put yourself in their mind for a couple of minutes. Imagine dealing with you from the other person's point of view. What expectations do they have? What are their goals?
Step 4. Adjust your attitude accordingly. This may mean reevaluating and adjusting your approach and communication style. It may mean you need to apologize. It may mean you step away from that relationship for a while. Whatever it is for you, be sure you think things through in every way.
If you make the effort to adjust your attitude and approach, you should find better success. It takes making a decision and some humility to go through this process, but it won't hurt you for trying. Practice choosing to love. You can!