Friends are one of the most important parts of our lives. Did you ever wonder why your parents freaked out so much about who your friends were? I did. Mine cared who I hung out with, who I went to dances with in high school and long after I was out of college they showed concern
for my friends. As an adult it, was pretty annoying, but now I can see into their concern. As I reflect on the last 10 years of my life, I can see the different stages of personal growth I went through, the good decisions and the bad ones.
Why friends are important
I had an A-ha moment this week that started with me looking at someone else and thinking, “No wonder this person acts that way, look at who he/she hangs out with.” Then I saw myself in stages of my life when I was hanging around nice people who simply didn’t prescribe to the same set of values I wanted to reflect in my life. I thought I could have fun and still shine as the person I wanted to be, but it doesn’t work that way. Your value system erodes gradually and one day you look up and think, “Why is nothing in my life working the way I thought it would at this point in my life?” Then I went, “OOOHH, but look at who I was hanging out with.” I started making the same decisions they do, and you know what? They aren’t happy either.
I actually cried as I grieved my blindness. I started to see that I really want my decisions, actions and all behavior to reflect the values in my heart. That will start with surrounding myself with like minded people. As friends come and go in life and as we evolve through life stages at different paces, we all have the to choice to fill life with new friends who share the same value system.
In addition to seeing more clearly what I want to shine out of me, I also see that with my growing strength, courage and strong sense of self worth, that I no longer have to just go with the flow simply to feel accepted and be part of something. I’m in a city large enough to provide me with a large variety of people to engage with as friends.
I have made some new friends over the last couple of years, and I can see how my like-minded friends offer me support and perspective in a constructive way that alines with my values and morals.
I was sharing this revelation with one of my like-minded friends, and he reminded me of the old saying, “Birds of a feather, flock together.” Ahh..Now I see where that came from. If you want to be more this and less that. Think about who you’re hanging around and seek people in your life who exhibit the qualities you desire to have in yourself and in your life because you can!