Anger plagues so many people’s lives. And the deep rooted anger that stems from abuse, trauma and abandonment can destroy the live of an individual and those around that person. Though many people know they struggle with anger, they don’t know what to do about it. They can feel helpless and controlled by anger.
When you know you struggle with anger it’s essential to know what the root of the anger is. It’s usually caused by something or things someone (a person, company, or even God) did to you. Then a person holds onto that anger and lets it infiltrate every part of our lives going forward. I know I’ve had anger toward being left alone a lot as a child because my parents had to work I the evenings at our restaurant to support the family. I had anger toward my childhood best friend for dumping me overnight for another best friend. I’ve had anger toward exes that I felt treated me badly or unfairly. i had anger toward cruel bosses. I had anger toward God for allowing me to get sick.
There are people who have to deal with anger toward being teased, raped, physically and verbally abused, and the list goes on. When those things happen to us we develop walls to protect us from that ever happening again, but what we don’t realize when we carry the weight of that baggage around, we are hurting ourselves and all our relationships.
The trick to releasing the baggage and letting go of the anger is forgiveness. “WAIT!” I think. “What that person did to me was wrong. How can I forgive him?” The truth is that forgiveness isn’t condoning the wrong. It doesn’t tell the other person what they did was somehow right. It’s not telling yourself that you deserved it. Sometimes, I know I’ve learned lessons from some of the wrong done to me. Some of them created a wall but others just made me wiser and more appreciative of my life. Forgiveness is pardoning someone just like a prisoner is pardoned from punishment. It’s true what the person did was wrong, but you release yourself and the other person from it. In essence that is forgiveness and you have the power to choose forgiveness so you can release the past and stop carrying it into your future.
When you free yourself, you have the ability to develop healthy, thriving relationships around you that a long-time Harvard study has proved will increase your life span and quality of life. Andy Stanley dives deep into this subject in his “Starting Over” series to ensure that the next time won’t be like the last time. Free yourself through forgiveness and letting go of anger because you can!